National Bereaved Parents Month, observed every July, is a time to honor and support parents who have lost a child. The grief of losing a child is profound and lifelong, and offering meaningful support can make a significant difference. Here are practical and compassionate ways to support bereaved parents during this month and beyond.
1. Acknowledge Their Loss
Grief can feel isolating, especially when others avoid mentioning the loss. A simple, heartfelt acknowledgment can be powerful. Reach out with a message like, “I’m thinking of you and [child’s name] this month.” Mentioning their child’s name shows that their memory is still cherished. Avoid clichés like “They’re in a better place,” which can feel dismissive.
2. Listen Without Judgment
If a bereaved parent wants to talk, be present and listen. They may share memories, express anger, or cry—let them. Resist the urge to offer solutions or say, “I know how you feel,” unless you’ve experienced a similar loss. Instead, try, “I’m here for you. Do you want to share more?” Your role is to provide a safe space, not to fix their pain.
3. Offer Specific Help
Vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything” often go unanswered because grief can make it hard to ask for help. Instead, suggest concrete actions: “Can I bring you dinner on Thursday?” or “I’d like to mow your lawn this weekend—does that work?” Small gestures, like running errands or helping with household chores, can ease their burden.
4. Honor Their Child’s Memory
Acts that keep their child’s memory alive are deeply meaningful. You could light a candle in their child’s honor, donate to a cause they cared about, or share a positive memory. For example, “I remember how [child’s name] loved soccer—I made a donation to the local youth team in their honor.” These actions show that their child is not forgotten.
5. Be Mindful of Triggers
Certain events, like holidays or anniversaries, can intensify grief. National Bereaved Parents Month itself may bring up complex emotions. Ask gently if there’s anything they’d like to do or avoid during this time. For instance, “Would you like company on [child’s birthday], or would you prefer space?” Respect their needs without assuming.
6. Support Their Grieving Process
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Some parents may find comfort in support groups, while others prefer private reflection. Offer resources like local bereavement groups or online communities, but don’t push. You might say, “I came across a support group for bereaved parents—would you like me to share the details?” Let them guide how they want to cope.
7. Check In Regularly
Support often fades after the initial loss, but grief endures. National Bereaved Parents Month is a good reminder to reconnect. A text, call, or note saying, “I’m thinking of you and wanted to check in,” shows you care beyond the early days. Consistency matters more than grand gestures.
8. Educate Yourself About Grief
Understanding the complexities of grief can make you a better supporter. Read about parental bereavement or explore organizations like The Compassionate Friends or Bereaved Parents USA. This knowledge helps you approach conversations with empathy and avoid common missteps, like expecting them to “move on.”
Final Thoughts
Supporting a bereaved parent during National Bereaved Parents Month is about showing up with empathy, patience, and respect for their unique journey. Your presence, whether through a kind word, a thoughtful act, or simply listening, can provide comfort in a time of deep sorrow. Keep showing up—not just in July, but all year round.
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